Sunday, September 11, 2005
Reality is their Boojum
The Bellman himself they all praised to the skies --
Such a carriage, such ease and such grace!
Such solemnity, too! One could see he was wise,
The moment one looked in his face!
He had bought a large map representing the sea,
Without the least vestige of land:
And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
A map they could all understand.
"What's the good of Mercator's North Poles and Equators,
Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?"
So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply
"They are merely conventional signs!
"Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
But we've got our brave Captain to thank:"
(So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best --
A perfect and absolute blank!"
We now know where we are! In the middle of the Bellman's map!
And here's the key to understanding it all, in the Preface:
The Bellman, who [much like Bush] was almost morbidly sensitive about appearances, used to have the bowsprit [which on the ship of state in a democracy is the Bill of Rights] unshipped once or twice a week to be revarnished, and it more than once happened, when the time came for replacing it, that no one on board could remember which end of the ship it belonged to. They knew it was not of the slightest use to appeal to the Bellman about it-- he would only refer to his Naval Code, and read out in pathetic tones Admiralty Instructions which none of them had ever been able to understand-- so it generally ended in its being fastened on, anyhow, across the rudder. The helmsman used to stand by with tears in his eyes; he knew it was all wrong, but alas! Rule 42 of the Code, "No one shall speak to the Man at the Helm," had been completed by the Bellman himself with the words "and the Man at the Helm shall speak to no one." [Precisely how the Bush White House operates] So remonstrance was impossible, and no steering could be done till the next varnishing day. During these bewildering intervals [which so far have lasted from 2001-date] the ship usually sailed backwards.
And so we now know that Bush is the Bellman, which is actually a mispronunciation of Billman (not to be confused with Billmon) which no one has been able to correct because of the provisions of the Naval Code. A Billman is someone who takes the Bill of Rights and turns everything a@@-backwards.
It all makes sense when its properly explained.
More blogs about politics.