Wednesday, December 07, 2005


They Probably Won't Do This, But Still...

I understand that the Council of Foreign Relations is the latest group of once-respectable people to let the Bush Junta push them around:

According to today's Froomkin (and its a good one -- go read it!), Bushie will be speaking to the Council on Foreign Relations tomorrow [PW notes: That's today], in his second of four planned speeches on the Iraq mess. The format of his speech is a bit odd -- in an unusual move for the critical think tank, Bush is being allowed to speak without taking any questions afterward. He's just going to speak and go. Awwwww, poor wittle Georgie is scawed of dee big intewectual qwestons. The big question in my mind? What the hell is the Council on Foreign Relations doing allowing themselves to be used as a prop in the Preznit's "propaganda campaign to call a mess a success"? Of course, the intellectual set will applaud politely to the end of the speech, out of respect for the Office of the Presidency. The Preznit will get his video clip of people being polite and spin it as agreement.
They probably won't do this, but here's what I think the CFR folk should do in response. It's based on Bush's known tendency to go berzerk in the presence of ringing mobile phones: Before the conference, go get one of those pay-as-you-go phones, with about 90 minutes of airtime. Pay for it in cash. Set the ringtones on LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. Next, stash the phone somewhere in the hall where it can't be reached readily. (Hanging it from the rafters, fifty feet above his microphone, would be nice.) Then, after Bush mounts the podium and starts to speak, someone in the hall sends a page to someone in a pay phone (or other suitable phone that can't be traced to an individual) outside the hall. The person at the pay phone then calls the cell phone number. RIIIIIING! RIIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIING! Watch Bush get thrown off his stride -- and watch his staffers go berzerk looking for the phone. The ringing stops after a minute. Things settle down; Bush continues with his speech. Then, our person in the hall pages the person outside, who is now at another pay phone: RIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIING! Twenty minutes of Bush's speech have now been ruined. By this time, Bush's people may well have figured out where the phone is, and are trying to get at it. But if they haven't, about twenty minutes later: RIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIIING! Let's see the Bushistas get usable sound bites out of that.

I'd pay for the phone.

...What are the chances that the Potemkin villagers at Bush's "public" events are frisked for cellphones and prevented from taking them in?
I'm sure they are. That's why something like this would have to be planned at least a week in advance -- if for no other reason than to figure out how to secrete the phone so that Bush's minders can't find it, much less get at it right away. If you had it looped over a rafter next to the boom-mike assembly, it would be inconspicuous and difficult to get at.
Great idea, if difficult to pull off. At least we can enjoy imagining it!
The room is snooped for bombs before he arrives. They'd find it. And if someone caught you trying to hide a cellphone, you'd probably have a lot on questions to answer without benefit of council, in a Navy brig 100 miles off the coast. Of Panama.
Second Annie:

It's not a bomb, it's a cell phone. If it were a bomb, you'd want it as close to him as possible. But since the object isn't to kill him, but merely to disrupt his propaganda exercise, it can be most anywhere in the hall, such as hanging from the mike tree. (In fact, it's better for it to be hanging in mid-air, rather than have its ring be muffled by the sound baffles of the individual seats. Ever notice how good the sound is in a concert hall when you're in the balconies? That's why.)

And you wouldn't believe how easy those things are to hide. As anyone who's lost one of the new tiny ones in couch cushions can tell you. Placed up among the mike trees near the ceiling, no one would see it.
My goodness your devious little hearts bring me such unbriddled joy...

Thanks, especially like the idea of hiding it near the mike trees. He-he.

Ahhh, to dream.

Yours in Injustice, (U) StupidSexyJesus
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