Sunday, January 08, 2006


Dateline CNN: Medical Marvels

WASHINGTON, DC -- Doctors report little success in getting the left shoe of Howard Dean removed from its current location deep inside Wolf Blitzer's rectum, where Dean had lodged it during an interview with the CNN anchor early Sunday morning. According to several million witnesses around the world who watched on live TV, Dean, the Chair of the Democratic National Committee, former Vermont governor and firebrand presidential candidate in 2004, gave Blitzer what one witness described as "a kick in the butt so hard I think the tip of Dean's shoe connected with Blitzer's back teeth". Chairman Dean, reached at a Famous Footwear shop shortly after the interview with Blitzer, offered to send the right shoe of the pair into Blitzer's rectum as well, "to give him a matched set". [UPDATE: Wolf Blitzer's former boss, Pat Robertson, has apparently offered to pray the shoe out of Blitzer's body.]

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