Friday, April 28, 2006
Friday Cat Blogging
My Lady Lightfoot is such a sweet cat, you'd never suspect that she's a threat to national security.
I have a hard time believing it myself, but, in fact, she is. Through next Saturday, anyway.
Earlier this week, Lightfoot got radiation treatment to destroy a benign tumor that was making her hyperthyroid (she wasn't sick, but she'd lost a lot of weight). The treatment consisted of making her swallow a capsule of radioactive iodine, which targeted the tumor and left the rest of her strictly alone; she'll be just fine, thanks. But the thing about the radioactive iodine is that what goes in must come out, and for a couple of half-lives (i.e. through next Saturday) what comes out will be measurably radioactive.
I have been strictly enjoined not to put the used litter in the trash, but to use flushable litter and flush it down the toilet. I was bemused at being told that I should send a radioactive substance (never mind that the level of radioactivity is literally too small to harm a cat) into the water supply. I was even more bemused when the veterinarian explained why I can't put it in the trash.
Our landfills had radiation detectors installed at all the entrances "after 9/11", just in case anybody's making a dirty bomb in their kitchen. Amateur bomb-makers, it is assumed, would not maintain "clean" facilities, but would unavoidably contaminate their house, including their garbage. So if a garbage truck sets off the radiation detectors, the Feds will know that there are terrorists somewhere in the neighborhood where the garbage was collected that day, and can go find them and arrest them.
I am not making that up. For the next week, I cannot put used cat litter in the trash, because I would cause the Feds to waste much time looking for nonexistent terrorists. Or perhaps cause my innocent cat to be sent to Guantànamo, and me with her.
Isn't it reassuring to know that, even though the Bush Administration cannot provide the means to inspect cargo at our seaports, at least our landfills are protected from radioactive cat poop?
Lady Lightfoot looks lovely and happy. She's trying to look imperious, but I think I can tell that this is actually her secretly-happy look.
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